Remember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
Andy BorowitzEvery week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.
Andy BorowitzIt only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.
Andy BorowitzMaybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.
Andy Borowitz