The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.
Andy BorowitzXmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Andy BorowitzThe only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.
Andy BorowitzIf its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.
Andy Borowitz