Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.
Andy BorowitzGive a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.
Andy BorowitzThe real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.
Andy Borowitz