Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.