Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
Andy BorowitzIt used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.
Andy BorowitzRick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.
Andy BorowitzSarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Andy Borowitz