On July 4 we celebrate government of the people, by the people, and for the people, or as they are now called, corporations.
Andy BorowitzRemember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
Andy BorowitzNext time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy BorowitzCall me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.
Andy Borowitz