Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.