Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.