Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.