It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.

Christmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

Thanks to Facebook, I never forget the birthdays of people I don't really know.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.