If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.

Cars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.

The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps; and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.