If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.