If Mark Twain had had Twitter, he would have been amazing at it. But he probably wouldn't have gotten around to writing Huckleberry Finn.

Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.

US Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

If you are friends with the wrong people, Google+ autocorrects them

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'