You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

Other countries care for their mentally ill. Making them debate on TV is just cruel.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'