You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.

All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

As popular as Christmas is, it would be even bigger if it had vampires.