Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"
Andy BorowitzChristmas never would have caught on if it had been called Celebrate a Little Jew's Birthday.
Andy BorowitzRemember, no matter how hard your life is right now, it would be worse if a song by Chicago was playing.
Andy BorowitzCars will soon have the Internet on the dashboard. I worry that this will distract me from my texting.
Andy Borowitz