We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.

Welcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.

It used to be that people could be painfully boring in private. Facebook changed all that.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

It would be nice to spend billions on schools and roads, but right now that money is desperately needed for political ads.

It only cost Mitt Romney $76.6 million to defeat a serial adulterer and a mental patient in a sweater vest.

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.