We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.

To mark the hundredth anniversary of the Titanic, the Republicans have nominated Mitt Romney.

The baby Jesus was the last homeless person the Republicans liked.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted.

Michele Bachmann says God made the earthquake and hurricane to punish us. Untrue - he made Michele Bachmann for that.

Rick Perry is qualified to be President in the same way that Olive Garden is qualified to be Italy.