I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

The Republicans suddenly are very concerned about people losing their health coverage! I would believe that they were worried about our well-being if a) they didn't cut food stamps; and b) they didn't oppose every law regulating guns.

You can return all the Christmas gifts you want, but you will never get back the time spent with your relatives.

Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.

The real news has gotten more surreal and absurd, and my fake news, if you want to call it that, has gotten more plausible. And at some point, those two trend lines crossed.

Thanks to the Internet, people we might have only suspected of being idiots can now give us ample evidence.

Let's not let a few dumb things Mitt Romney said in private overshadow the many idiotic things he's said in public.