I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

Call me a dreamer, but I think it would be great if getting medical attention were as easy as getting a gun.

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

If its platform is any guide, the Republican party is staunchly pro-life until you are actually born.

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.