I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.

Next time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'

Christmas sweaters are only acceptable as a cry for help.

Maybe I'm a dreamer, but I wish mental health care was as easy to get as, say, a gun.

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

Getting your news from Twitter is like asking a cat for directions.