Let's withdraw from Afghanistan and have the army invade America - that's the only way we'll get new schools and roads.

Ann Romney: 'The hardest part of being a stay at home mom was deciding which of our homes to stay at.'

Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. Give a man Twitter, and he will forget to eat and starve to death.

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.

As we go from Abraham Lincoln to Theodore Roosevelt to Mitt Romney, I now understand why the Republicans don't believe in evolution.

The only possible reason the Republicans have declared a war on women is they must think women have oil.

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.