All Americans mourn the passing of the author of the Declaration of Independence, George Jefferson.
Andy BorowitzUS Airways made an $8 billion bid for Delta, including $4 billion in cash and $4 billion in lost luggage.
Andy BorowitzWelcome delegates to the 2012 Republican Convention! Remember to set your watches back 400 years.
Andy BorowitzNext time someone says, 'Where has big government ever gotten us?' the correct answer is 'Mars.'
Andy Borowitz