Now that we all agree contraception is a bad idea, let's take a harder look at electricity and soap.
Andy BorowitzXmas Trivia: Before it became a major shopping holiday, Christmas is believed to have had a "religious" meaning.
Andy BorowitzCongress is furious at the Secret Service for consorting with hookers, which has traditionally been Congress's role.
Andy BorowitzSarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.
Andy Borowitz