Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

The only way to explain how some people dress for the airport is they think no one else will be there.

Every week Republicans are excited about a new candidate because the one they liked last week turned out to be a moron.

A Romney presidency will be awesome unless you're poor, sick, gay, female, Mexican or a dog.

Weirdly, the people complaining about the healthcare website not working after three weeks were quiet about the Iraq war not working after eight years.

Sarah Palin has decided not to run for President and go straight to the quitting part.

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.