Facebook's new relationship status option: "No longer able to interact with actual people"

Maybe this is crazy, but I think the right to own a gun is trumped by the right not to be shot by one.

John Edwards is a tragic case of a man who ran for President when he should have joined the Secret Service.

The hardest thing about life is that every now and then you have to do things so you have something to tweet about.

I make the modest proposal that psychiatric care should be as easy to get as bullets at Wal-Mart.

I've invented Twofacebook, the antisocial network. You start being friends w/entire world & defriend people one by one.

We invaded Afghanistan to find bin Laden. We found him in Pakistan, and we're still in Afghanistan. We need better GPS.