Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

Writers don't retire. I will always be a writer.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

Obscenities... I think a lot of dumb people do it because they can't think of what they want to say and they're frustrated. A lot of smart people do it to pretend they aren't very smart - want to be just one of the boys.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

I understand shipping - you have to expect to pay for the stamps or for the freight company - but what's this handling they always have? How much does handling cost, anyway? I don't want a lot of people handling something I'm going to buy before I get it. How much would it cost if you didn't handle it before you sent it to me?

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.