You really can't blame the military for wanting to go to war [in Iraq]. They've got all these new toys and they want to know whether they work or not.

The best thing about a vacation is planning it.

The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!

Those of us who don't have a party affiliation ought to be able to register under the heading "Confused.

Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

It's not so much that I write well, I just don't write badly very often and that passes for good on television.

Small daily happenings make life spectacular.... start enjoying the small things in life!