Anyone who watches golf on television would enjoy watching the grass grow on the greens.

Let's face it, though, anything that's apt to happen to an appliance like a blender isn't covered by the warranty anyway, so I never send them in. If it breaks, I'll buy a new one. That's the American way.

Most of us end up with no more than five or six people who remember us. Teachers have thousands of people who remember them for the rest of their lives.

I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.

I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

Bacon is clearly a food made by the Nazis to fatten up Americans. It has no nutritional value, is full of fat, sodium, and nitrates, and is a pathetic type of consumable made from the noblest of creatures.

People will generally accept facts as truth only if the facts agree with what they already believe.