My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.

I am interested in details. If you go into anything far enough, you get into the details of it, and people turn out to be interested in what makes things work.

I've learned... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.

I am an atheist... I don't understand religion at all. I'm sure I'll offend a lot of people by saying this, but I think it's all nonsense.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

Familiar things are a comfort to us all.

There are sixteen cans of coffee here; together they hold a total of thirteen and a half pounds of coffee. Doesn't that seem like cheating?