The two biggest sellers in any bookstore are the cookbooks and the diet books. The cookbooks tell you how to prepare the food, and the diet books tell you how not to eat any of it!

I dislike loud-mouthed patriots who suggest they like our country more than I do. Some people's idea of patriotism is hating other countries.

Elephants and grandchildren never forget.

No one likes the house next door to look worse or a lot better than his own.

I've learned... That when you're in love, it shows.

Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.

When there are starving people in the world, it seems wrong that so many of us Americans eat as much for entertainment as for nourishment.