Writers don't often say anything that readers don't already know, unless its a news story. A writer's greatest pleasure is revealing to people things they knew but did not know they knew. Or did not realize everyone else knew, too. This produces a warm sense of fellow feeling and is the best a writer can do.

The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

Nothing in fine print is ever good news.

I've done a lot of complaining here, but of all the things I've complained about, I can't complain about my life.

The great virtue of being alone is that your mind can go its own way.

Soap, like people, shouldn't smell like anything.

Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.