When those waiters ask me if I want some fresh ground pepper, I ask if they have any aged pepper.

Would a real man get caught eating a twinkie?

I've learned... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.

Believing is such a comfort that it's hard to give up a belief just because it isn't true.

The last birthday that's any good is 23.

Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.

I just wish this social institution [religion] wasnt based on what appears to me to be a monumental hoax built on an accumulation of customs and myths directed toward proving something that isnt true.