I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

We all ought to understand we're on our own. Believing in Santa Claus doesn't do kids any harm for a few years but it isn't smart for them to continue waiting all their lives for him to come down the chimney with something wonderful. Santa Claus and God are cousins.

Uh, yeah, this is the VD clinic calling. Speaking of being positive, your test is back. Stop sharing the love.

I've learned... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

Flying is always an unpleasant experience. You wait an hour for every ten minutes you actually spend getting anywhere.

Let's make a statement to the airlines just to get their attention. We'll pick a week next year and we'll all agree not to go anywhere for seven days.

Figure skating is an unlikely Olympic event but its good television. It's sort of a combination of gymnastics and ballet. A little sexy too which doesn't hurt.