Not many people in this world are as lucky as I've been. ... All this time I've been paid to say what is on my mind on television. You don't get any luckier in life than that.

Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

I've learned... that we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers. More college graduates ought to become plumbers or electricians, then go home at night and read Shakespeare.

Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of in the first place is giving America a new sense of purpose.

Love is more pleasant once you get out of your twenties. It doesn't hurt all the time.

I'm already suspicious of anyone who thinks he or she is smart enough to be president. You'd have to have some ego to believe that about yourself.