If I'd known how many problems I was going to run into before I finished, I can't remember a single project I would have started.

The biggest seller is cookbooks and the second is diet books - how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.

I know a lot of you believe that most people in the news business are liberal. Let me tell you, I know a lot of them, and they were almost evenly divided this time. Half of them liked Senator Kerry; the other half hated President Bush.

Art is a by-product of an honest and successful attempt to do something well.

Have you noticed that they put advertisements in with your bills now? Like bills aren't distasteful enough, they have to stuff junk mail in there with them. I get back at them. I put garbage in with my check when I mail it in. Coffee grinds, banana peels...I write, "Could you throw this away for me?"

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

I can't choose how i feel. But i can choose what I do about it.