It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.

You're almost always better off keeping your mouth shut, but don't let that stop you from popping off.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

Go to bed. Whatever you're staying up late for isn't worth it.

We can all be prouder to be human beings, because that's what they were. They make up for a lot of liars, cheats, and terrorists among us.

There is obviously a great human need for religion because life seems to be such a mystery.

A cat's idea of a 'good time' is to kill something.