It isn't working that's so hard, it's getting ready to work.

The only thing that really bugs me about television's coverage is those damn women they have down on the sidelines who don't know what the hell they're talking about. I mean, I'm not a sexist person, but a woman has no business being down there trying to make some comment about a football game.

Christians talk as though goodness was their idea but good behavior doesn't have any religious origin. Our prisons are filled with the devout.

The dullest Olympic sport is curling, whatever 'curling' means.

Democrats believe people are basically good but must be saved from themselves by the government. Republicans believe people are basically bad but they'll be okay if they're left alone.

We need people who can actually do things. We have too many bosses and too few workers.

Happiness depends more on how life strikes you than on what happens.