Sooner or later the world will have to return to the good old days when we fought wars and killed people the old-fashioned way, one at a time.

Computers may save time but they sure waste a lot of paper. About 98 percent of everything printed out by a computer is garbage that no one ever reads.

The only people who say worse things about politicians that reporters do are other politicians.

I never get over feeling bad about tearing open a beautifully wrapped present. It takes ten seconds to destroy a work of art that took someone ten minutes to accomplish.

I'm always on the lookout for something good about people. Often months go by.

It would be a better world if everyone in it knew all the truth about everything.

I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.