Nobody ever drowned in his own sweat.

Class is the sure-footedness that comes with having proved you can meet life.

Assume nothing. Inside every dumb blond there may be a very smart brunette.

TV has had a stronger impact on our society than any single invention since the automobile. It has put the dead hand on conversation.

Know yourself. Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.

Don't indulge in gossip. ... People who throw mudballs always manage to end up getting a little on themselves.

You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.