I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.