When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.