I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

It's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.