I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.

I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.

Vegas means comedy, tragedy, happiness and sadness all at the same time.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.

I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy's stand-up career. Sam Kinison died at just the right time, 'cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore either.