I have gay friends, I support gay rights, I have nothing against the gay community, but when I see two guys kissing, I think it's gross. And, by the way, it's gross when 99% of straight people do it, too.

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world

It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.