I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

A weekend in Vegas without gambling and drinking is just like being a born-again Christian.

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

It's good to be alive.

I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.