Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.