Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

It's good to be alive.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?