I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

I've never been swimming, and that's because it's never been more than half an hour since I last ate.

I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.