My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?
Artie LangeHave you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.
Artie LangeIt's a life of five-card draw, and you know what? When God asked me - I'm fine with the card I got. I'm gonna play this.
Artie LangeYou know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.
Artie LangeMy mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?
Artie Lange