Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

When political correctness first started coming around, it ruined Andrew Dice Clay and Eddie Murphy's stand-up career. Sam Kinison died at just the right time, 'cause no one was going to tolerate what he was saying anymore either.

I'm the type of guy where one thing leads to another and eventually it gets awful. If I put a $5 bet on a roulette table tonight at 10 o'clock, by tomorrow at noon I would be running guns to Cuba.

Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that

I used to be a longshoreman. I didn't go to college. I have a voice that when I say something, it can sound way meaner than you think it is.