I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.

I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.