I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

I wish I was this dark genius artist - like Richard Pryor or something.

Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete.

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota