I was at Yankee Stadium one time at 5 a.m., but that was to buy angel dust

I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.

I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.