I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

I quit drinking, and I figure if I go to ten Yankee games this year without drinking I'll save $32,000.

I once dealt with a prima donna on a movie set. I won't say who, but his first name is a country. A communist country. Run by Fidel Castro.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

I found a way for her to fall asleep, Paris Hilton, talk to herself.

I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.

I have a bad gambling problem. You're not in show business for 12 years and dress like this without a bad gambling problem.