I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

For a degenerate like me, Vegas is like a walk down memory lane. Last time I went to Vegas, I went to my old coke dealer's kid's bar mitzvah.

Artie is going to do what ever Artie wants to do.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

But I live an interesting life and I can tell a pretty good story and it has helped my career. But the downside is people know everything.

My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?

When you did impressions on 'MADtv,' the producers gave you a Walkman that played huge sections of whatever movie was being parodied, with your character's catchphrases recorded on a loop. You'd wear this thing around during rehearsals and for a week listen to the voice you had to impersonate over and over again. It drove all of us crazy.