I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking

Of course in show business there are two ways to play it and I am not politically correct so I am not going to get endorsements or anything like that

All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.

My mother would say, before I left the house, 'Remember Art, hugs are better than drugs.' And I believed my mother, I believed everything she said - until the first time I got high at a party. I leaned back, and I went, 'God, this is way better than when my Uncle Perry hugs me. What else has my mother been lying to me about?

Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.