I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.

A-Rod wants to be like Babe Ruth. And people don't realize this, he's a lot like Babe Ruth. Before the playoffs a couple of years ago, A-Rod went to the hospital and promised a dying kid he'd ground out to second for him.

It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.

I am not the easiest guy to live with. It is probably the lack of stability in my life.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

It is funny because the guy who is my boss now, Howard Stern, has a similarity there. He got big being a regular guy. He wasn't the greatest looking guy in the world

The regular guy still relates to him and Howard is a $500 million guy now who dates a model and drives about in a limo all day. But Howard still knows how to make a plumber laugh and those guys still have him on in the morning, because he is a real talent.