When I black out, it's the happiest time of my life.

Richard Lewis has this incredible ability to look like he's just... you know it's an act that's been honed. What you have to do in standup is create spontaneity, somehow; even though you've done this act a million times, you gotta look like you're almost just thinking of it now, to make it entertainer.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.

The only reason I can't recommend heroin to kids is because the effects wear off.

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.