If you are a black woman, you get two history months in a row.

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.

I have been in a lot of movies, but none of them are critics' darlings, you might say.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.