Eddie Murphy said once in an interview that nothing is offensive if it's funny. I sort of agree with that, but if something's funny and you're the subject of it, sometimes it's more offensive. If someone's insulting you, you want them to sound like an idiot.

I want to see Toby Maguire fight Christian Bale.

Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.

I was always a thin kid; I was an athlete.

I like gambling on stuff that you don't know anything about. That's when it's exciting.

I found a way for her to fall asleep, Paris Hilton, talk to herself.

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.