At the Mirage Sportsbook, you can get a line on 2 kid playing wiffleball in the backyard in Minnesota

When you're on the road a lot, you're in perpetual search of a good night's sleep.

Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

In Hollywood, there is another name for a woman's 40th birthday party, it's a retirement party.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

I'm a comic, so I like to stay nocturnal. I work 10 p.m. to 1 a.m.