Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Don't do drugs to be cool, do 'em because you hate yourself.

If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

It's not a drug problem, until you run out of money. Until then it's just drugs.

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.