Frank Sebastiano is a real write. He has two Emmys, one from 'SNL' and the other from 'The Chris Rock Show' . The only award I have is an FM-mmy.

And now it looks like I'm probably going to shoot a movie that I wrote. I got the money to do it, and I would star and all, because of being on Howard.

Googling me, you talk about being depressed. First of all there's 18 websites that predict my early death.

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Historically, a successful life in comedy is a dream that's as equally pondered and unpursued as being an astronaut.