Hugs are great, but - better than drugs? Come on. Let me put it to you this way: I never drove to Harlem at 4 a.m. to get somebody to hug me.

I got into comedy so I could stay out all night.

You know how screwed up censorship is, two girls just agreed to make out naked in front of their fathers, and we went wait, don't curse.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

I like gambling on stuff that you don't know anything about. That's when it's exciting.

My dad was Superman to me, and in my mind he always will be.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.