All I can say is that you only realize how big your mountain is once youre laying motionless, helpless, and hopeless in the valley below. No one goes there on purpose, if you get what Im saying, because the only way to find your personal low is to slip and roll down that mountain of yours, straight through to the bottom, no holds barred.

Whiskey will always be a part of my life.

Comedians, we're just people who whine. But we happen to be funny when we whine.

Well I have a drug history and a public drinking problem and I am not the healthiest guy. So they just ran that I died of a drug overdose.

I'm very resilient. The only thing I'm missing right now are abs.

Have you ever Googled yourself? I did, most depressing thing ever. People have websites hoping I die at 38.

Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.