If Mike Tyson was the voice of your GPS, would you ever not use it?
Women will do anything Oprah Winfrey says, and that is why we can't have women voting.
Everytime I go to Vegas, I seem to incur some kind of fine.
I ain't apologizing for anything, especially if it's a joke.
I snorted heroin once by accident. It was amazing. But kids, don't snort heroin. It's too good.
I had a career before the Stern show, on Mad TV. I was on the first two seasons of that and I got kicked off it because of possession of cocaine.